Designed with me in mind

The Poet and I went out again last night.  🙂  I have totally turned into one of those people I normally hate- all cuddled up at a bar, actually kissing in public.  Gross.  And yet, nice.  It’s not even like I am just tolerating it- I’m actually initiating it some of the time!

On our fourth date, we talked more about how insanely fast this has been happening and he told me he has never been this crazy about a person, even after being with them for a lot longer.  We also talked about meeting each others friends.  My head is spinning, but I very calm at the same time.  It just feels like it is supposed to be.  Sometime during our date, I realized why I couldn’t pinpoint any one person that he reminds me of when my friend asked me- it’s because he is the combination that I have been looking for.  He has parts of all of the men I have dated and cared about in a non-romantic way- it’s like he was designed for me.  The good qualities/attributes only so far, although I am not naive enough to think he is completely perfect.  Here’s a list of the things I have realized so far:

  • He is gentle and kind like Adam and my father.
  • He is chivalrous like my best friend’s husband.
  • He is funny like so many of them have been, but WAY funnier.
  • He is incredibly smart like TBDP.
  • He is ambitious and driven like Mr. Not-So Perfect.
  • He is a talented musician like Rat Bastard (although I REALLY hate giving Rat Bastard credit for anything).
  • He is confident and humble like my dad.
  • He is playful like Thomas.
  • He looks at me like he wants to eat me up (in a good way) like Mr. Not-So Perfect.
  • But he is respectful about physical contact like TBDP.

That’s not all of them- but it is a start.  He even has a few of the little things I liked about other people, but don’t bear mentioning specifically.  In case it isn’t clear by now, I REALLY like this guy.  I’m falling for him hard and fast and I am so excited to see what the future holds.


3 days, 2 dates, 1 happy FRJ

My second date with The Poet sounds exactly like our first date- we got drinks, talked and laughed for hours, went back to his house and talked and laughed some more, then slept- except this time it was on a weekend night, so we slept in and had a more relaxed morning.  We connected so instantly and intensely.  Although it seems cliche and it pains me to admit it, we already finish each other’s thoughts…and I really like it.  All the things that are difficult for me in a relationship don’t seem difficult with him.  I don’t feel afraid to be open and let him into my heart.  I am comfortable admitting how I feel and telling him what I want.  I know that he is physically attracted to me, but I am not worried in the slightest that it is his only motive, or even his main motive.  Somewhere in our 12 hour date on Friday/Saturday, we talked about the terrifying, but incredible, fact of how much we like each other.  Anyone who knows me would know that these are normally major hurdles for me. I would listen quietly while someone told me they liked me, then either make a joke or sit in uncomfortable silence.  I rarely tell people how I feel, even when I want to.  I do, of course, give myself some credit for this- it isn’t all about The Poet- but he gets a large share of credit too.

Since today is Easter, we hadn’t planned on seeing each other.  I had a lot of homework to work on and he had a large family gathering to attend.  But this morning he called to see if I could get away for a “quick” coffee.  We ended up spending three hours drinking coffee and driving around Massachusetts.  We found the most beautiful historic church (a historic site no longer in use) in the middle of nowhere and walked around.  We talked about the future in a very natural way- there was no discussion of details, just a sense of “in our future,” if that makes any sense.  He is old fashioned in a way that I like.  He always opens the car door-actually every door- for me, even when it seems inconvenient.  He put his jacket on me after I told him I didn’t need it, but he could see that I was cold.  At the same time, he is respectful, interested, and thoughtful.

The Poet is also a musician and he is releasing his next album in September.  He let me listen to one song on Friday and another today while we were driving.  Usually I get nervous when I am listening to someone’s music with them around and I don’t know how to act.  This time, he was so clearly nervous for me to hear it, I couldn’t be nervous.  I was, however, incredibly relieved to realize that I actually really like his music.  I can honestly say that it is something I would choose to listen to on my own, even if I didn’t already like him and have a motive.  🙂  Great news!!  I am planning to buy his book and read it.  It got great reviews when it came out, but I don’t know how well I would do reading them in front of him for the first time.  So I am going to prep myself a little.

In related news- I had still been seeing TBDP and had been planning to go to an Easter party at his house today.  Things had been pretty steadily in the friend-zone with TBDP until Thursday night, when he really kissed me for the first time.  Poor TBDP.  He is really sweet, and I actually do like him, but he just got totally blown out of the water.  I decided  it was unfair to go to the party and meet his friends under false pretenses, so I told him that I had too much work to do, which is actually true.  I plan on telling him pretty soon that I met someone that I have a really strong connection with, but would like to be friends.  I don’t know how that will go, but I definitely have to tell him.  The Poet and I have not discussed the issue of seeing other people, but I know he isn’t seeing anyone else, and regardless, I don’t want to see anyone but him.  I’m not saying I am putting all my eggs in one basket (Easter reference!!) after just three dates…I just think there is something special here and it deserves my full attention.

I have a feeling about this…. 🙂