Mr. $12.48

During the Dating Olympics I had to make sure I got some US representation in.  So one night, while reading my messages on OKC, a chat message came through.  The guy was not one I would normally go out with, but he made me laugh.  When he called, I liked his voice and so I agreed to meet him for a drink the next night.

I should have seen it coming.  I should have known when he insisted we go out in “his neighborhood” (30 minutes away from me) because he would be too tired, but I shrugged it off.  I should have known when he announced that the place we were going to was in a bowling alley.  I just should have known.

When I arrived at the bowling alley/bar/restaurant, I found him immediately and immediately knew I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest.  But I sat down anyway (having driven all that way).  We ordered our drinks and I tried to make conversation, but he kept talking over me.  It was pretty clear that he had some difficulty focusing, but I pushed through.  But I could only handle making it through one drink.

When the bartender put the bill down, the guy picked it up and looked at it for a loooonnnng second.  I glanced at it and noticed that the total for two drinks came to $12.48.  Unheard of in Boston.  So I made no moves.  Besides the fact that I REFUSE to pay for a bad first date, I also didn’t think it was worth it for so little to go through the motions of offering.  The scene that followed is still making me laugh.

Him:  (Puts down the check and looks at me.)……

Me: (Looks back at him and then away.)

Him: (Sighs in a put out sort of way) I can get this if you want.

Me: What? All $12.48 of it?  I mean, we can split it if you want…but I only have a card.  (COMPLETE disbelief on my face).

Him: (With relief) Oh ok.

Me: (Stares at him with utter disbelief.  Moves to grab card.)

Him:  (Condescendingly, as though the bill came to $500.) You know what?  I’ll get it.  You went to all the trouble to come up here.  (Takes out card and pays the bill.)

 

Honestly.  That is exactly how it went down.

If I hadn’t already been sure there wouldn’t be a second date, that verified it for me.  If $12.48 is a problem for you, that’s a problem with me.  The real kicker was that he then walked me out to my car and tried to kiss me!  I got in as fast as I could, told him to be safe walking home, and booked it out of there.

That should have been the end of it- chalk it up to another crazy date- but then I heard from him again.  He texted me after the weekend and was all “I’m so sorry I didn’t text you all weekend, I was super busy.”  As if I was desperately waiting to hear from him….

Do it the old fashioned way, please

One of the perks of the online dating thing is that it provides endless entertainment. Though I am not currently looking to meet someone, I decided to leave my online profile active until I have some sort of commitment. Every few days I go in to clear the messages so that my phone stops telling me I have unread messages. The other day, while clearing my messages, I came across a message from a couple propositioning me for…..something. I imagine they were looking for a threesome partner, but they wanted to take me to dinner first. They began the e-mail by saying they had just moved to the area from Spain and telling me about each of their professions (as though threesome partners will only join successful couples) and about their daughter (ew!). They finished up by telling me that the husband thinks I am pretty and have a nice smile and the wife thinks I seem nice and like a “good person”. Huh.

What ever happened to picking up your third the old fashioned way…..by buying them drinks all night at the bar and propositioning them then. I wouldn’t have said yes to that kind of proposition either, but it would have creeped me out far less. I have been asked in a bar before and while I find it a little out of my comfort zone, I at least feel flattered for being considered. Being propositioned online just makes me feel creeped out.

Anyway, entertaining as it was, I didn’t respond to their message. A day or so later I was telling a friend about it and went on the site to read her the message. Their profile had been deleted since I received my message. I guess they found what they were looking for. Next time, I hope they do it the old fashioned way and get some unsuspecting girl a drink at the local bar…

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