Former relationship junkie

*I will always change the names of everyone in my posts…I will try very hard to consistently call them the same name.

When I was 20, I was absolutely sure I would be married and have my first kid by the time I was graduating from college.  22 came and went, and though I was in a serious relationship, it was with a guy (William*) who “wasn’t ready.”  Even knowing that, I pretended that there was a chance he would come around and moved in with him.  4 months later, I was moving back in to my parent’s house, devastated by a break up.

Flash forward two years and I was living with another boyfriend, James, who “wasn’t ready,” as he so kindly told me on our year anniversary dinner date (I cried all the way home).  He returned from a week’s vacation in Alabama (who does that?) and promptly broke up with me because he “couldn’t stop thinking about another girl…”  Again, I moved back in with my parents, devastated that I was now almost 25 and still in the same place as when I was 20.  You would think I would have learned, but….

Remember that first guy, William?  Yeah, we got back together.  He moved in with me at my new apartment and we lived happily….for awhile.  We signed a new lease together on a beautiful house and moved in.  Then, suddenly, BAM!  He found out he was getting deployed again and essentially went off the deep end.  One minute he was naming our future children (literally) and the next minute he couldn’t MARRY me, he said he didn’t even think he was in love with me.  And once again, (it was really after 6 weeks of trying to work things out) I moved back to my parent’s house, devastated and alone. Clearly, the relationship thing was not working for me.

In between those major relationships, I was in a bunch of smaller, minor relationships, pretty much ensuring that I was never single for long.  Here’s the list, including the college years to now (names changed to protect the….well, not innocent):

  • Jamal- 8/2002-4/2004
  • Thomas- 4/2004-5/2005
  • Jamal-6/2005-11/2005
  • William- 12/2006-8/2006
  • Jeremy- 10/2006-1/2007
  • Dan- 2/2007-4/2007
  • James- 5/2007-3/2009
  • Richard- 6/2009-11/2009
  • Henry- 11/2009-2/2010
  • William- 2/2010-12/2010

Yikes!  I am not even counting the short term people who varied in lengths of time or the relationships that weren’t official, but may as well have been.

I just left a job, moved to Boston, and started graduate school.  I am turning over new leaves in all areas of my life, so….I have made up my mind to not jump into a new relationship too soon.  In fact, I plan to date (as many people at a time as I want- but hold the sex) until I feel something special about someone.  This is going to be tough.  I love people and tend to see the good in them and their potential right away.  Read about my adventure, root for me while I go on dates, and cheer for me when I don’t instantly attach myself to someone just because we had a few good dates.