Mr. $12.48

During the Dating Olympics I had to make sure I got some US representation in.  So one night, while reading my messages on OKC, a chat message came through.  The guy was not one I would normally go out with, but he made me laugh.  When he called, I liked his voice and so I agreed to meet him for a drink the next night.

I should have seen it coming.  I should have known when he insisted we go out in “his neighborhood” (30 minutes away from me) because he would be too tired, but I shrugged it off.  I should have known when he announced that the place we were going to was in a bowling alley.  I just should have known.

When I arrived at the bowling alley/bar/restaurant, I found him immediately and immediately knew I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest.  But I sat down anyway (having driven all that way).  We ordered our drinks and I tried to make conversation, but he kept talking over me.  It was pretty clear that he had some difficulty focusing, but I pushed through.  But I could only handle making it through one drink.

When the bartender put the bill down, the guy picked it up and looked at it for a loooonnnng second.  I glanced at it and noticed that the total for two drinks came to $12.48.  Unheard of in Boston.  So I made no moves.  Besides the fact that I REFUSE to pay for a bad first date, I also didn’t think it was worth it for so little to go through the motions of offering.  The scene that followed is still making me laugh.

Him:  (Puts down the check and looks at me.)……

Me: (Looks back at him and then away.)

Him: (Sighs in a put out sort of way) I can get this if you want.

Me: What? All $12.48 of it?  I mean, we can split it if you want…but I only have a card.  (COMPLETE disbelief on my face).

Him: (With relief) Oh ok.

Me: (Stares at him with utter disbelief.  Moves to grab card.)

Him:  (Condescendingly, as though the bill came to $500.) You know what?  I’ll get it.  You went to all the trouble to come up here.  (Takes out card and pays the bill.)

 

Honestly.  That is exactly how it went down.

If I hadn’t already been sure there wouldn’t be a second date, that verified it for me.  If $12.48 is a problem for you, that’s a problem with me.  The real kicker was that he then walked me out to my car and tried to kiss me!  I got in as fast as I could, told him to be safe walking home, and booked it out of there.

That should have been the end of it- chalk it up to another crazy date- but then I heard from him again.  He texted me after the weekend and was all “I’m so sorry I didn’t text you all weekend, I was super busy.”  As if I was desperately waiting to hear from him….

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Dating Olympics 2012

I have been really, really neglectful and terrible.  I promised you posts, and I didn’t deliver.  I’m sorry.

The Olympics in London may be over, but the Boston Dating Olympics continues.

I.S. and I went on two dates.  After date number one, he was a gold medal contestant.  He made me laugh, owns a home, has a good career….all the things I am looking for.  Even our second date was fun- we went to his friend’s house and hung around ordering take-out.  His friends were super nice and fun to be around and the situation, which could have turned awkward, was very comfortable.  The kicker was the end of the date- he is a REALLY strange kisser.  I mean- it was weird.  Now, I might be able to work with that, but I’m just not willing to train someone who is 36 (if that’s even possible).  Without going into much detail- there were other things that did not impress me as well.  It really is too bad, because I.S. was a great candidate and we had a good connection.  So now he is out of medal contention.
R.G. and I have had three dates, all of them were excellent.  He is divorced- and has a kid.  Normally, I would not go out with someone who has children because children are fine, but the mothers become part of your life too.  However, he asked me to give him a chance anyway and I am glad I did.  Our first date was at a restaurant serving the food of his home country and drinks at a bar after.  I think it was the first time I have been on a first date that wasn’t just drinks.  He, too, has everything I am looking for- he makes me laugh, owns a home, has a great career, and makes me feel comfortable.  Our second date was kayaking, dinner, and drinks.  This guy really plans good dates!  He seems like he is a great father and the partnership between him and his ex-wife seems to be really healthy.  (Hooray!)  For our third date, he cooked me dinner at his house and we watched a movie.  It was really nice and very comfortable.  He is always a gentleman and makes lots of thoughtful gestures- like rubbing my feet absentmindedly during the movie.  He is still a contender for a medal- though I haven’t really seen or heard from him much lately.
I.M. and I have been on two dates, and both were surprisingly fun.  He is incredibly successful.  At 31, he is the youngest of the current contenders, but the most advanced in his career.  He was a doctor until he got an MBA and became the CEO of a medical company.  He doesn’t own a home, but was financially stable enough to be renting apartments in New York City and Boston at the same time.  (For the record, I hate that I comment on this, but I feel I have to since it is one of my criteria now- and I deserve someone who has their shit together.)  He is a bit on the “dorky” side, and some of his comments have me rolling my eyes (in my head- not in real life), but I always have a great time with him.  He is sweet, forthcoming with the way he feels, and earnest in a good way.  He makes sure I know in between dates that he is interested in me and can’t wait to see me again.  I had thought after the first date that I wouldn’t see him again, but decided to give him another chance.  I.M. came from behind and snuck back into medal contention!

The Poet and I had coffee, too.  I know, I know!  I should have said no after everything that happened, but he sounded so sad that I couldn’t turn him down.  It was a little awkward at first, but we just caught up and it ended up being fine.  However, he kept sending me messages after that telling me how much he missed me and how great it was to see me.  In a moment of weakness (I really was missing him and thinking about him a lot) when he texted me, I responded that I was thinking a lot about him too.  I think that was the wrong thing to say.  I didn’t mean anything by it- but he responded right away with a smiley face and said “We should definitely get together when you are back from your work trip.”  I’m still on the work trip, so I haven’t had to face this yet, but I’m not sure what I will say.  Oh dear.

 

 

Parade of Nations

With this new round of dating, I am becoming more picky.  My minimum requirements have increased and I am less willing to budge on them.  I was feeling bad about it for a few days, but then I decided there is nothing wrong with it.  So, minimum requirements:

  • A good job that most likely comes with a certain income level.  Think: doctors, lawyers, executives, businessmen, engineers, etc.
  • A positive attitude.
  • Educated.
  • Financially stable.  With enough of a cushion that car trouble or some unexpected expense doesn’t put them over the edge.
  • Mentally stable.  I MEAN IT.

This was a busy dating week…three first dates in one week.  Whew.  Interestingly, each of the three first dates I had this week are from different countries.  Also, they are all successful, smart, and kind.  What a week!

I feel like the United Nations.  Or, more appropriately, the Parade of Nations.  (Olympics reference, y’all!)  I mean this in the best way possible!  Before I met The Poet, a close friend told me she thinks I need to be with someone born outside the United States.  The fact that all these guys moved as children or adults to the States was purely a pleasant coincidence.

I’m running out of nicknames for these people, but I don’t want to call them by their nationality lest they be identifiable.  So I won’t be explaining their initials in any posts going forward.

For now, I will just say that all three met, even exceeded, minimum requirements and ALL are second date material.

And then he asked me

Yesterday was The Poet’s birthday.   I met his friends.  And then he asked me to be his girlfriend.  🙂

That’s all.

“The Talk”

I should mention, before I begin, that I am in the midst of end-of-the-semester insanity.  I’m trying to complete my last three assignments (long papers), work my two jobs, have friends, AND see The Poet.  So forgive me if I seem scattered or absentminded….I am.

Yesterday was an incredible day. The Poet and I had plans to get together, but as usual, we hadn’t set anything concrete and only got around to talking about what to do in the late afternoon.  It was such a beautiful day that we decided to get coffee and go for a drive to the ocean.  The whole way there, he kept looking at me and smiling and telling me how much he had missed me (we hadn’t seen each other since Monday).  Once there, we sat in the car for awhile talking.  After a few minutes of random conversation, we had this one:

The Poet: Hey, I wanted to ask you something….

Me: (Nervous laughter) Ok…

The Poet: So….I’m not seeing anyone else-

Me: (Cuts him off) Oh, me either.  Was that your question?  I mean, sorry to cut you off.  Is that what you were going to ask?

The Poet: Good.  Yeah, that’s what I was going to ask.

Me: Yeah, I disabled my profile and told all those hangers-on to get lost. (Giggles.)

The Poet:  Awesome- so….same page.  Again.  I like it.  I like you.

Me: I like you too.  (Blush)

The night continued with us driving around some more, having a nice dinner of shared appetizers, and hanging out at his house for awhile.

The same-pageness of this relationship has been unreal.  We are always thinking the same thing and bringing it up at the same time.  I was planning to bring up the talk yesterday, but he beat me to it.  It’s a really nice feeling.

Ok- just wanted to pop to the surface to fill you in, but now I have to go back under to get my work done.

3 weeks

I saw The Poet again last night after more than a week of not seeing him.  He had been having a really tough week and I had a friend in town, so we just kept missing each other.  I was a little concerned that it wouldn’t be the same or that we would have lost momentum, but everything was great….better even.

At first we were a little quiet.  He is still having a tough time and has been a little down and although I feel like I know a lot about him, I don’t know him well enough to know the best way to cheer him up or take his mind off of things.  Is he the kind of person who likes to be distracted?  Or does he prefer to have the space to think about things?  Anyway- at first while I tried to figure out the best way to interact with him in that situation, conversation was a little stilted.  He was participating and holding up his end of conversations, but it wasn’t flowing as easily as normal.  But part of the way through our dinner, we got settled into the swing of conversation.

I’m happy to report that I still really like him and he still really likes me three weeks later.  It has even come to the point where I can feel the “I love you” hovering in the air.  Like it might slip out at any point if I’m not careful.  It’s crazy to feel that way so early, but it seems like it is hovering for both of us.  He asked me to meet his friend and his friend’s fiance on Friday night…and talked about lots of future plans.

We had a great talk about the nature of the stuff he is dealing with right now and how it will be a reality for a while, but he seems like he is dealing with it in a healthy and realistic way.

Designed with me in mind

The Poet and I went out again last night.  🙂  I have totally turned into one of those people I normally hate- all cuddled up at a bar, actually kissing in public.  Gross.  And yet, nice.  It’s not even like I am just tolerating it- I’m actually initiating it some of the time!

On our fourth date, we talked more about how insanely fast this has been happening and he told me he has never been this crazy about a person, even after being with them for a lot longer.  We also talked about meeting each others friends.  My head is spinning, but I very calm at the same time.  It just feels like it is supposed to be.  Sometime during our date, I realized why I couldn’t pinpoint any one person that he reminds me of when my friend asked me- it’s because he is the combination that I have been looking for.  He has parts of all of the men I have dated and cared about in a non-romantic way- it’s like he was designed for me.  The good qualities/attributes only so far, although I am not naive enough to think he is completely perfect.  Here’s a list of the things I have realized so far:

  • He is gentle and kind like Adam and my father.
  • He is chivalrous like my best friend’s husband.
  • He is funny like so many of them have been, but WAY funnier.
  • He is incredibly smart like TBDP.
  • He is ambitious and driven like Mr. Not-So Perfect.
  • He is a talented musician like Rat Bastard (although I REALLY hate giving Rat Bastard credit for anything).
  • He is confident and humble like my dad.
  • He is playful like Thomas.
  • He looks at me like he wants to eat me up (in a good way) like Mr. Not-So Perfect.
  • But he is respectful about physical contact like TBDP.

That’s not all of them- but it is a start.  He even has a few of the little things I liked about other people, but don’t bear mentioning specifically.  In case it isn’t clear by now, I REALLY like this guy.  I’m falling for him hard and fast and I am so excited to see what the future holds.

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