Dinner date

Last night was my dinner with Mr. Not-So Perfect.  I met him on the street near his house and we walked a couple blocks to the restaurant.  He had never been and had only judged from the outside.  It turned out to be a college-type atmosphere with trivia going on in the background.  But we made do.  Dinner was a little awkward.  Some of the conversation felt forced…like we were avoiding the main subject….which we were.    After dinner, he asked me to come up and see his new apartment.  Despite knowing this would mean I would have to be firm about nothing physical, I agreed.

He showed me around and offered me a glass of wine.  We awkwardly sat and watched football, me on a different couch and only looking straight ahead.  I could tell he was looking at me, but I refused to make eye contact.  I finished my glass of wine and stood up to leave.  He kissed me and told me he really missed me and that he wouldn’t lie, he “wanted” me.  He said “I know you will probably not want to talk to me after I admitted that after the conversation we had, but I can’t lie.  I’m attracted to you and I don’t know what I am supposed to do about it.”  I told him that it was fine, but that I was still leaving.  Then he asked to see me tonight.  And I told him no, I had plans.  His face dropped and he asked me if it was a date.

He walked me out, down the elevator and through the halls to the front door.  The whole way, he kept telling me how much he really likes me and wants to have another chance.  He practically begged me to hang out with him on Wednesday night.  I told him I would think about it. After I left, I got several texts from him saying how happy he was to see me and how he will “do whatever it takes to get back into my good graces.”  When I made a noncommittal response, he said he wants me to be his girl.

I still have really mixed feelings about this whole thing.  He is really trying, and I really do appreciate that.  I also like that the ball is totally in my court.  I just think I have to continue to be firm with him.  If he really wants to be with me, then I need the physical part of the relationship to be on my terms- at least for now.  I think that is the only way I would ever be able to be with him.  On the other hand, I am not sure I want to bother.

I have a second date with The Gentleman tonight and I am looking forward to it.  All I know is that having all the balls (no pun intended) in my court is good for me and my plans for forward movement in 2012.


A New Year, A New Outlook

Happy New Year to all my readers!  I hope everyone wrapped up 2011 in a festive bow and kicked off 2012 with a fresh attitude and a new outlook.

It has been a crazy week….some endings and some new beginnings and then some off the wall stuff.  Let me recap it for you…

Wednesday 2:15pm-  As I was getting ready for my date with The Gentleman, Mr. Not-So Perfect showed up at my house.  He just stopped by after months of not seeing him.  I was in the shower, so my roommate (frantically) asked me what I wanted him to do, and then let him in to wait on the couch.  I finished my shower and freaked out about what I was going to say when I finally came down.  It turns out he wanted an explanation for why I ended our relationship so abruptly and wanted to express how much he likes me and wants to try again.  I did my best to explain and ended up agreeing to have dinner with him.  I know I didn’t give him a fair chance because I never expressed myself until the end, but I’m still not sure I want to go back down this road.

Wednesday 5:30pm- I met up with The Gentleman near his hometown at a restaurant.  We had a couple drinks and appetizers and GREAT conversation.  He is really easy to talk to and is very nice.  A few issues: he recently lost his job and he is 13 years older than me.  He has plans for getting back into the work world, so that isn’t too big an issue.  The real issue is the age difference.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  However, we had a great date and I was surprised at the end that we had been there for three hours…it seemed like only an hour and a half had gone by.  We parted with a kiss and plans for a second date.

Wednesday 10:30pm- KRoomie’s brother and friend were visiting from Connecticut for the night, so I met up with KRoomie, her brother, 4 of their friends, and BRoomie out in the city.  As soon as KRoomie announced to her friends and brother that I like “chocolate” there was an obvious battle for my attention.  By the end of the night, everyone had let the tall one (6’8!!!)  be the “winner.”  Now he wants my number….

Friday 6:30pm- BVP called to ask me to hang out before we saw each other at my NYE party.  He picked me up and we went to get some dinner.  We had a nice conversation and then went back to his house to talk some more.  I told him about the rapes and we had a conversation about what is going on with us.  We both agreed that we aren’t sure if we should get into anything serious because of the potential for it going bad.  Since he is such good friends with my roommates, we have to consider this possibility.  We ended up just cuddling and dropping the subject for the night.

Saturday 10:00pm- BVP arrived at my party and gave me a kiss hello and told me that I looked beautiful. He reminded me that he wanted to kiss me at midnight.  About 30 people arrived for our party, including someone my friend wanted to set me up with.  I talked with him throughout the night.  Let’s call him the Marine.

Sunday 12:00am- I kissed my friends, who I was standing next to.

Sunday 12:01am- I walked over to where BVP was standing and kissed him.  He did not return the kiss and just looked at me.  I asked him what was wrong and he said he was upset that I didn’t kiss him at midnight.  Ummm….  We got into a mini argument and I walked away irritated.

Sunday 12:30am-  I walked through the living room and saw BVP sitting with about 4 girls from the party in a deep conversation.  They all stopped talking when I walked into the room.  Clearly, they were discussing me.

Sunday 1:00am- BVP asked to speak with me in private.  The party was still raging, but we went up to my room to talk.  Over the next half hour, we basically decided to end our relationship now, before anyone gets too hurt.  There was a lot more to the conversation, but that was the gist of it.  However, I was supposed to be staying at his house so my friends could have my room and the couches.  I asked him if he wanted me to figure something else out, and he said no, he would still like me to come over.

Sunday 4:00am- BVP wanted to leave, so I set up all my friends with places to sleep and blankets and we walked to his house across the street.  He expressed that he was kind of sad because he doesn’t want to lose me.  I am a little sad too, but I think it is for the best.

Sunday 10am- The Marine asked me to go out on a date with him.  I said yes.

Sunday 11am- The Gentleman called and asked me to go to dinner with him on Tuesday.  I said yes.

Monday 9:00am- I found out the Marine has two daughters.  One who is 16.  This is seriously against my personal rule of not dating men who already have children.

Monday 11:00am- Mr. Not-so Perfect texted to ask me when we could have dinner.  I said I am pretty open.

So….as you can see, there have been some endings, and some new beginnings.  I am a little sad at the loss of BVP.  If things were different and he wasn’t my roommates’ friend, we might have given it a try.  Who knows.  We also agreed that we aren’t necessarily ruling it out for the future.  But I told him that I am only interested in relationships that have forward movement.

Here’s to forward movement in 2012!





2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 23 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.