Planning….

Ok…so Mr. Perfect Combination called me this afternoon to ask me if I like Kayne and Jay-Z.  I told him I do and he says “Ok cool, I’m going to get us concert tickets.”  The concert is in November.  Normally this would freak me out completely….having someone planning this far in advance early on always gets my feet jittery and I feel like I want to bolt.  I do not feel that way at all this time.  At all.  I don’t feel freaked out and I also have a feeling I will actually be there.

Also today he told me if things are going well he wants me to go with him to Miami in March.  (Oh my god….I’m like a giddy little girl right now….)  The fact that I am not flipping out and trying to figure out how to get out of this seems like it should be a sign….And I don’t think it’s a sign that he’s crazy.  He is very matter of fact.  He thinks we will be great…I agree.

I’m SO excited/nervous about Wednesday.  I just need it to be Wednesday already.  The suspense is killing me.

The perfect combination

So…a little more on this guy…

He is exactly the combination of things I am looking for.  He’s smart, educated, ambitious, successful, hardworking, funny, attractive (REALLY), interesting, friendly, gentlemanly….I could keep going.  And I haven’t met him yet.  I’m partially waiting for the other shoe to drop.  But partially, I think he’s for real.  I mean…I’ve never felt this way so instantly about anyone.  Ever.  And he says the same thing.  We talk about 4 times a day, about everything and nothing.

I am going back into the city on Wednesday, and we are meeting that night.  I am so excited.  And so nervous.  I just have a feeling about him.  I really don’t know what else to say.  I’m trying really hard not to put all my romantic hopes into this one basket…but I kind of just want to cancel my plans with all the other guys.  I’m not going to….yet.  But here’s the thing….I already like him more than I like Aaron.  So I feel like regardless of what happens with the new guy, I need to tell Aaron that I don’t think it’s going to work.  But I have no idea how to do that.  I’m terrible at stuff like this.  And normally, I wouldn’t give much thought to telling someone I’ve been out with a few times that I am taking a different path, but I’m friends with Aaron’s sister.  And I need to be mindful of that.

Does anyone have any advice for “breaking up” with someone you’ve only been on a few dates with?  Preferably in a way that doesn’t piss him or his sister off too much???

<3

I think I’m in love.  Seriously.  Except we haven’t met yet….

More later maybe….

The car thing

UPDATE:

When I last wrote, I had sent Not-Jude Law a text saying that I didn’t think it was right for me and wishing him the best of luck.  I got the response I was expecting, asking whether it was because of “the car thing.”  After I answered, I expected the conversation to be over.  Instead, I kept getting texts from him asking me to just talk to him for a few minutes on the phone.  “Please.  Just a few minutes.”  “???”  “Can we please talk??  Just for a few minutes?”  I told him no, I didn’t think so and he said “OK, but I don’t get why you don’t want to talk to me.”  And then CONTINUED to text and call me for another couple of hours.  It was like I had broken up with him via text message after a two year relationship….that was how he was acting.

He didn’t seem crazy when we went out…but the text brought out the insane in him.  He finally stopped…hopefully for good.

“Ding” Round 1

Last night while I was bored during the second date, I found myself picturing this whole dating thing like playoff brackets.  And it made me laugh.  Probably at an inappropriate time, like one of the awkward silences.  So here’s how it works: Aaron had his own bracket…so he goes onto the next round.  Because afternoon guy and evening guy were in the same day…they were playing against either other.  We’ll call afternoon guy Not-Jude Law and we’ll call evening guy Dejected Filmmaker.

Not-Jude Law was pretty nice.  We had talked on the phone quite a bit and laughed a lot before we decided to get together.  Though he did not go to college, he was capable of intelligent conversation and I felt like we could talk about any subject without an issue.  He seemed like the intelligent, but not educated type.  Fine.  So we decided to get together before my interview and meet.  He was full of plans for the future…he’s going to cook me dinner, he’s going to help me unpack my boxes, etc.  Anyway….as I pulled into the parking lot to meet him, I saw him standing outside waiting for me looking kind of rough around the edges and not like Jude Law.  We had a good time anyway, talking and laughing.  He was giving me compliments left and right and though I wouldn’t really choose him, there was at least a little chemistry.  I had to race off to my interview and he said he would call me later in the evening when I was driving home.  Sure.

After my interview (which was great!) I met up with Dejected Filmmaker.  I parked my car close to the bar and walked up.  He must have seen me coming, because he came out and gave me a hug and told me his friend was there, but was leaving as soon as his beer was finished.  He was actually cuter in person than his photos indicated.  I went in and sat down, met his friend, and ordered a beer.  And then…nothing.  Silence.  For most of the time.  His friend left a few minutes later and there were so many awkward silences that I think we spent more of the 50 minutes we were together staring at nothing than actually talking.  Also…he spent the entire time with the most dejected looking body language I’ve ever seen.  His body was so hunched over that his chin was nearly touching the bar.  So…..that was a no.

Based on the two dates, Not-Jude Law was the clear winner of the bracket.  It looked like he was advancing to the next round.  While I was driving home, Not-Jude Law called me to talk.  We were having a pleasant conversation when suddenly he said “Why is my car alarm going off?  Oh!  Fuck!  Let me call you back in two minutes” and he hung up the phone.  So I was driving and thinking: “What could’ve happened…is there some angry ex smashing his windows or is someone trying to steal his car?”  A few minutes later, he called back and I checked to see if everything was ok.  He said “Yeah, I’m fine.  Well, no…it’s not fine.  My car just got repossessed.”  Stunned silence on my end of the phone.  (Seriously….you can’t make this stuff up…)  Not only did his car just get repossessed by the bank, but he’s actually admitting it to me after our first date.  Okay…..

He went on to tell me why this had happened.  I listened politely and even expressed some sympathy, I know financial difficulties happen to everyone, and I am certainly not going to judge people for having them.  However….NO.  I have my own financial difficulties and I don’t need to get involved with someone who is in that much trouble.  I might have made an exception had it been otherwise perfect, but it wasn’t.  On the advice of a friend, I sent him a message today letting him know that it was nice to meet him, but that I didn’t think this was right for me- and I wished him the best of luck in his life.  My friend reminded me that it would be good for me to practice being honest with people when I don’t like them instead of being “nice” and afraid to hurt their feelings.  She’s right.  So….if nothing else…this whole online thing will be great practice for me.

This round: no winner.

2 in 1

Today I am doing something I swore I would never do…I am going on two dates in the same day.  So here’s what happened….I signed up on an online dating website a few days ago.  There have been tons of responses…I was actually shocked.  Some insane, but actually some nice, decent seeming prospects.  (I’m sure some of them will show their insanity in person.)  So, there are about 6 guys who seem like good options and trying to keep all their names and details straight is proving challenging.  Anyway…of the 6, two were especially reluctant to wait until I return from vacation, they were willing, but told me to let them know if I was going to be back in the new city at all before I am officially back from my vacation.

So….I have a meeting with the family I will probably be working for today and have to drive back to the city for the afternoon/evening.  I decided to let the two guys know….and BAM….dates with both.  One is an afternoon thing, before my meeting.  The other is an evening thing after my meeting.  There’s no chance they will overlap and they aren’t back to back at the same bar or anything, but I am a little stressed out already.  I mean…I have to dress for an afternoon date, an interview, and an evening date.  I’m guessing there will be in-the-car-shirt-changing going on.

I feel a little weird going on dates when I have had good dates with Aaron, who I met through friends, but I am pretty committed to seeing what’s out there before I make any sort of “exclusivity” commitment….even if it is only in my head.  I’m pretty sure that Aaron would not be thrilled to know I am dating other people, and I don’t really know if that’s a conversation I should have with him or if not, because it has never come up and I have never indicated otherwise.

I’m such a newbie to this dating thing!!!

I will DEFINITELY be back with details, good or bad.  Or insane.

*Before I start hearing about internet dating safety rules: let me assure you readers that I am always EXTREMELY careful.  I am meeting them both in public places, where I will have access to my own car.  I will not have more than one drink and I will be in possession of it at all times.  I will have extra money in a hidden place in case of emergency.  And I will have my phone charged.

Let the insanity begin!

So last night I decided to make a profile on an online dating site.  Mostly for research purposes, but I figured if I “met” someone worth meeting, I would consider a date.  Remember that I’m trying to date casually and not get into a specific relationship too quickly…

Anyway…I created my profile, added some pictures, and added the line at the bottom that people should message me “If they want to and aren’t insane” knowing full well that I will get insane regardless.  People who are insane don’t think they are…

For the first 18 hours I had my profile “live” everything was normal.  There are even some good prospects that I might get together with when I return to my new city.  Then…almost at the 18 hour mark…insanity hit.

Here is a transcript (with names changed of course) of the instant message stream of insanity:

Crazy person: (33 / M / Straight) ballroom latin styles ? really ? I didn’t know about that hahaha

Me: what?

Crazy person: ballroom in latin style !! i don’t know that one !! lol

Me: no no…i mean i do both styles (my profile says I like latin and ballroom dancing)

Crazy person: ohhhh hahahahahaha do you dance bachata ?? or do you like bachata music ??

Me: i don’t dance that

Crazy person: well bachata is the best latin music ever !!!!!!!!

Me: ok haha (nervous laughter)

Crazy person: is very cool and very sexy to dance !! not as sexy as belly dance, but close !!

(3 second pause) I hope you’re just quiet, because you want to, and not because you fell off the chair !!

(2 second pause) hahahah

(2 minute pause) yeahh !!fell off the chair !! ok

(1 minute later) let me know if you want to learn so bachata,

(1 minute later) and BTW your eyes

Me: ?

Crazy person: are not the most notable of you. your Lips are !!

Me: oh…thanks

Crazy person: I’m just saying !! 😉 have you ever been at havana club ??

Me: no

Crazy person: you should !! Salsa Bachata, Merengue !! no bellydance sorry !! hahaha I can tell ! you’re at work, and looks like a busy day !! lol

Me: im not at work…but i am doing other things

 

That was the closest I could get to telling the guy to leave me alone…I need to work on my rejection skills….

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