Mr. $12.48

During the Dating Olympics I had to make sure I got some US representation in.  So one night, while reading my messages on OKC, a chat message came through.  The guy was not one I would normally go out with, but he made me laugh.  When he called, I liked his voice and so I agreed to meet him for a drink the next night.

I should have seen it coming.  I should have known when he insisted we go out in “his neighborhood” (30 minutes away from me) because he would be too tired, but I shrugged it off.  I should have known when he announced that the place we were going to was in a bowling alley.  I just should have known.

When I arrived at the bowling alley/bar/restaurant, I found him immediately and immediately knew I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest.  But I sat down anyway (having driven all that way).  We ordered our drinks and I tried to make conversation, but he kept talking over me.  It was pretty clear that he had some difficulty focusing, but I pushed through.  But I could only handle making it through one drink.

When the bartender put the bill down, the guy picked it up and looked at it for a loooonnnng second.  I glanced at it and noticed that the total for two drinks came to $12.48.  Unheard of in Boston.  So I made no moves.  Besides the fact that I REFUSE to pay for a bad first date, I also didn’t think it was worth it for so little to go through the motions of offering.  The scene that followed is still making me laugh.

Him:  (Puts down the check and looks at me.)……

Me: (Looks back at him and then away.)

Him: (Sighs in a put out sort of way) I can get this if you want.

Me: What? All $12.48 of it?  I mean, we can split it if you want…but I only have a card.  (COMPLETE disbelief on my face).

Him: (With relief) Oh ok.

Me: (Stares at him with utter disbelief.  Moves to grab card.)

Him:  (Condescendingly, as though the bill came to $500.) You know what?  I’ll get it.  You went to all the trouble to come up here.  (Takes out card and pays the bill.)

 

Honestly.  That is exactly how it went down.

If I hadn’t already been sure there wouldn’t be a second date, that verified it for me.  If $12.48 is a problem for you, that’s a problem with me.  The real kicker was that he then walked me out to my car and tried to kiss me!  I got in as fast as I could, told him to be safe walking home, and booked it out of there.

That should have been the end of it- chalk it up to another crazy date- but then I heard from him again.  He texted me after the weekend and was all “I’m so sorry I didn’t text you all weekend, I was super busy.”  As if I was desperately waiting to hear from him….

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Dating Olympics 2012

I have been really, really neglectful and terrible.  I promised you posts, and I didn’t deliver.  I’m sorry.

The Olympics in London may be over, but the Boston Dating Olympics continues.

I.S. and I went on two dates.  After date number one, he was a gold medal contestant.  He made me laugh, owns a home, has a good career….all the things I am looking for.  Even our second date was fun- we went to his friend’s house and hung around ordering take-out.  His friends were super nice and fun to be around and the situation, which could have turned awkward, was very comfortable.  The kicker was the end of the date- he is a REALLY strange kisser.  I mean- it was weird.  Now, I might be able to work with that, but I’m just not willing to train someone who is 36 (if that’s even possible).  Without going into much detail- there were other things that did not impress me as well.  It really is too bad, because I.S. was a great candidate and we had a good connection.  So now he is out of medal contention.
R.G. and I have had three dates, all of them were excellent.  He is divorced- and has a kid.  Normally, I would not go out with someone who has children because children are fine, but the mothers become part of your life too.  However, he asked me to give him a chance anyway and I am glad I did.  Our first date was at a restaurant serving the food of his home country and drinks at a bar after.  I think it was the first time I have been on a first date that wasn’t just drinks.  He, too, has everything I am looking for- he makes me laugh, owns a home, has a great career, and makes me feel comfortable.  Our second date was kayaking, dinner, and drinks.  This guy really plans good dates!  He seems like he is a great father and the partnership between him and his ex-wife seems to be really healthy.  (Hooray!)  For our third date, he cooked me dinner at his house and we watched a movie.  It was really nice and very comfortable.  He is always a gentleman and makes lots of thoughtful gestures- like rubbing my feet absentmindedly during the movie.  He is still a contender for a medal- though I haven’t really seen or heard from him much lately.
I.M. and I have been on two dates, and both were surprisingly fun.  He is incredibly successful.  At 31, he is the youngest of the current contenders, but the most advanced in his career.  He was a doctor until he got an MBA and became the CEO of a medical company.  He doesn’t own a home, but was financially stable enough to be renting apartments in New York City and Boston at the same time.  (For the record, I hate that I comment on this, but I feel I have to since it is one of my criteria now- and I deserve someone who has their shit together.)  He is a bit on the “dorky” side, and some of his comments have me rolling my eyes (in my head- not in real life), but I always have a great time with him.  He is sweet, forthcoming with the way he feels, and earnest in a good way.  He makes sure I know in between dates that he is interested in me and can’t wait to see me again.  I had thought after the first date that I wouldn’t see him again, but decided to give him another chance.  I.M. came from behind and snuck back into medal contention!

The Poet and I had coffee, too.  I know, I know!  I should have said no after everything that happened, but he sounded so sad that I couldn’t turn him down.  It was a little awkward at first, but we just caught up and it ended up being fine.  However, he kept sending me messages after that telling me how much he missed me and how great it was to see me.  In a moment of weakness (I really was missing him and thinking about him a lot) when he texted me, I responded that I was thinking a lot about him too.  I think that was the wrong thing to say.  I didn’t mean anything by it- but he responded right away with a smiley face and said “We should definitely get together when you are back from your work trip.”  I’m still on the work trip, so I haven’t had to face this yet, but I’m not sure what I will say.  Oh dear.

 

 

Parade of Nations

With this new round of dating, I am becoming more picky.  My minimum requirements have increased and I am less willing to budge on them.  I was feeling bad about it for a few days, but then I decided there is nothing wrong with it.  So, minimum requirements:

  • A good job that most likely comes with a certain income level.  Think: doctors, lawyers, executives, businessmen, engineers, etc.
  • A positive attitude.
  • Educated.
  • Financially stable.  With enough of a cushion that car trouble or some unexpected expense doesn’t put them over the edge.
  • Mentally stable.  I MEAN IT.

This was a busy dating week…three first dates in one week.  Whew.  Interestingly, each of the three first dates I had this week are from different countries.  Also, they are all successful, smart, and kind.  What a week!

I feel like the United Nations.  Or, more appropriately, the Parade of Nations.  (Olympics reference, y’all!)  I mean this in the best way possible!  Before I met The Poet, a close friend told me she thinks I need to be with someone born outside the United States.  The fact that all these guys moved as children or adults to the States was purely a pleasant coincidence.

I’m running out of nicknames for these people, but I don’t want to call them by their nationality lest they be identifiable.  So I won’t be explaining their initials in any posts going forward.

For now, I will just say that all three met, even exceeded, minimum requirements and ALL are second date material.

The Poet Post-Mortem

One of the most amazing aspects of my new job is that I get to travel to the place I have been most fascinated with my entire life.  I recently had my first trip there, which lasted 18 days.  Leading up to the trip, things with The Poet were going really well.  We were getting pretty serious and were opening up to each other more and more.  In the days before the trip, we discussed how much we were going to miss each other and made plans to talk by Skype and email regularly.  He took me to the airport and stayed with me until the last possible minute before I had to go through security.  All signs pointed to good things.

<Cut to day 5 of my trip.>

Around day 5 of my trip, I became concerned because I really hadn’t heard from The Poet except for his acknowledgement of my safe arrival.  Here and there he had “liked” a status on Facebook, but no actual emails and no Skype attempts.  In fact, he still hadn’t accepted the pending request on Skype.

<Cut to day 10 of my trip.>

By now I realized that something was up.  I had only one email from him at this point, and he didn’t really even mention missing me.  It was mostly all about how busy and overwhelmed he was.  Knowing that he struggles with depression and anxiety, I let it go, thinking to myself, “He is just focusing while I am gone so we can spend time together when I get back.”

<Cut to day 17 of my trip.>

I emailed him to remind him of my arrival the next night.  By this time, I had a total of 5 emails from him and two Facebook chats the whole time I was gone.  His response was that he would try to come pick me up if he could, but that he had plans.  I told him not to worry about it since I would be so tired anyway.  He didn’t argue at all and didn’t mention anything about getting together after I got home.

<Two days after my return.>

At this point, I definitely knew something was different.  I had been back in the country for two days.  My roommates and friends were clamoring to see me and spend time with me.  My boyfriend, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care that I was only 4 miles away instead of thousands.

On day 3, I received the text message that ended it all.  That’s right.  A text.  From a 41 year old.  Breaking up with me.

To be fair, he does have a lot going on.  The whole breakup was amicable and I’m not even mad at him.  Just sad.  I gave myself two days to feel sorry for myself, then picked up and began moving on.  It may seem as though I am cold hearted, or like I didn’t like him as much as I claimed, but I assure you that is not the case.  I just don’t see a point in feeling sorry for myself or dwelling on it.  I have to move my life forward.  So that is what I am doing.

I keep hearing from him and I know he misses me even though he doesn’t feel like he can give to a relationship now.  I don’t necessarily rule him out for the future, although he would need to make a pretty strong case.  As I told him, however, I can’t wait around on his back burner indefinitely.  If he should change his mind in the future, he can see if I’m still free.  I may be.  But then again, I may not.

Onto dating again.

Without me

Guess who’s back, back again.

Junkie’s back.

Tell your friends.

Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back

Na na na.

 

Thought you had heard the last from me?  So did I.  Alas, it’s over with The Poet, so I’m back to share horror stories (and hopefully some good ones too) about dating.  This will be a big week with lots of posts- I’ll fill you in on the end of the Poet, and then I have 3 dates lined up already in addition to a story from the weekend about Mr. Perfect.

Former Relationship Junkie is back online y’all.  Tell your friends, grab a glass of wine, and enjoy my life.  🙂

 

And then he asked me

Yesterday was The Poet’s birthday.   I met his friends.  And then he asked me to be his girlfriend.  🙂

That’s all.

“The Talk”

I should mention, before I begin, that I am in the midst of end-of-the-semester insanity.  I’m trying to complete my last three assignments (long papers), work my two jobs, have friends, AND see The Poet.  So forgive me if I seem scattered or absentminded….I am.

Yesterday was an incredible day. The Poet and I had plans to get together, but as usual, we hadn’t set anything concrete and only got around to talking about what to do in the late afternoon.  It was such a beautiful day that we decided to get coffee and go for a drive to the ocean.  The whole way there, he kept looking at me and smiling and telling me how much he had missed me (we hadn’t seen each other since Monday).  Once there, we sat in the car for awhile talking.  After a few minutes of random conversation, we had this one:

The Poet: Hey, I wanted to ask you something….

Me: (Nervous laughter) Ok…

The Poet: So….I’m not seeing anyone else-

Me: (Cuts him off) Oh, me either.  Was that your question?  I mean, sorry to cut you off.  Is that what you were going to ask?

The Poet: Good.  Yeah, that’s what I was going to ask.

Me: Yeah, I disabled my profile and told all those hangers-on to get lost. (Giggles.)

The Poet:  Awesome- so….same page.  Again.  I like it.  I like you.

Me: I like you too.  (Blush)

The night continued with us driving around some more, having a nice dinner of shared appetizers, and hanging out at his house for awhile.

The same-pageness of this relationship has been unreal.  We are always thinking the same thing and bringing it up at the same time.  I was planning to bring up the talk yesterday, but he beat me to it.  It’s a really nice feeling.

Ok- just wanted to pop to the surface to fill you in, but now I have to go back under to get my work done.

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