The Poet Post-Mortem

One of the most amazing aspects of my new job is that I get to travel to the place I have been most fascinated with my entire life.  I recently had my first trip there, which lasted 18 days.  Leading up to the trip, things with The Poet were going really well.  We were getting pretty serious and were opening up to each other more and more.  In the days before the trip, we discussed how much we were going to miss each other and made plans to talk by Skype and email regularly.  He took me to the airport and stayed with me until the last possible minute before I had to go through security.  All signs pointed to good things.

<Cut to day 5 of my trip.>

Around day 5 of my trip, I became concerned because I really hadn’t heard from The Poet except for his acknowledgement of my safe arrival.  Here and there he had “liked” a status on Facebook, but no actual emails and no Skype attempts.  In fact, he still hadn’t accepted the pending request on Skype.

<Cut to day 10 of my trip.>

By now I realized that something was up.  I had only one email from him at this point, and he didn’t really even mention missing me.  It was mostly all about how busy and overwhelmed he was.  Knowing that he struggles with depression and anxiety, I let it go, thinking to myself, “He is just focusing while I am gone so we can spend time together when I get back.”

<Cut to day 17 of my trip.>

I emailed him to remind him of my arrival the next night.  By this time, I had a total of 5 emails from him and two Facebook chats the whole time I was gone.  His response was that he would try to come pick me up if he could, but that he had plans.  I told him not to worry about it since I would be so tired anyway.  He didn’t argue at all and didn’t mention anything about getting together after I got home.

<Two days after my return.>

At this point, I definitely knew something was different.  I had been back in the country for two days.  My roommates and friends were clamoring to see me and spend time with me.  My boyfriend, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care that I was only 4 miles away instead of thousands.

On day 3, I received the text message that ended it all.  That’s right.  A text.  From a 41 year old.  Breaking up with me.

To be fair, he does have a lot going on.  The whole breakup was amicable and I’m not even mad at him.  Just sad.  I gave myself two days to feel sorry for myself, then picked up and began moving on.  It may seem as though I am cold hearted, or like I didn’t like him as much as I claimed, but I assure you that is not the case.  I just don’t see a point in feeling sorry for myself or dwelling on it.  I have to move my life forward.  So that is what I am doing.

I keep hearing from him and I know he misses me even though he doesn’t feel like he can give to a relationship now.  I don’t necessarily rule him out for the future, although he would need to make a pretty strong case.  As I told him, however, I can’t wait around on his back burner indefinitely.  If he should change his mind in the future, he can see if I’m still free.  I may be.  But then again, I may not.

Onto dating again.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. LovingBFF
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 20:52:58


    So sorry to hear that the poet didn’t work out. Everything in life happens for a reason and it must have been a good reason considering he acted like he was in 8th grade by texting you. Maybe you should explore past flings and see where they go? Never know what could be right under your nose!

    Good Luck FRJ!

    ❤ LovingBFF


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