Will self destruct in 5, 4, 3….

Sometimes I find myself in relationship-self-destruct mode.  I’m teetering on the edge of it right now.  I get myself into these relationships that get me questioning things, and rather than deal with it head on, I tend to go into destructor mode.

I like Mr. Perfect.  I have no illusions…I know he isn’t really perfect, but he is closer than I have ever experienced, and that says something.  But I find myself dangerously close to “destructor mode” with him.  I find myself questioning his motives in an almost paranoid way.  I have worked myself up about it enough that I think I have to say something to him about my concerns or risk just destructing without proof.  I wish I could say that this is just some random neurotic behavior on my part…I really would love to just blame myself for once…but I have a sneaking suspicion that its about my past and that I shouldn’t blame myself for this….

Regardless of who is to blame, I don’t want to screw anything up…so I am going to try to find a nice, non-threatening way to ask about my concerns.  Hopefully he will be honest with me…and hopefully I will be able to tell if he isn’t….


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